Is it just we dinosaurs who actually still have and pay for land lines that alone have to suffer? Are cell phone users exempt from this new plague?

I refer, of course, to robocalls. “Hi, this is Joyce from Cardholders Services.” You might think at first that she is calling from my card provider. Nope. Her recorded voice wants to sell me something new. “Hi, this is Kevin from the warranty service on your current vehicle.” My vehicle is long past its manufacturing warranties. Kevin just wants me to trust him and buy some paper from his virtual company. Joyce and Kevin aren’t real—if I try to talk with them they just ignore me and keep going with their pitch.

And then there’s politics. It was Wisconsin’s misfortune to be part of the presidential primary season when the outcome was still in doubt. My phone rang constantly for ten days. I fantasized that I had a financial stake in the robocall companies that pestered us all—fabulous sums must have changed hands. A governor recall election awaits in June—God help us—and then we can await the presidential general election in fall. If I cancel my land line and switch completely to cell service, will those recorded voices still be able to annoy me? AT & T, are you listening?

I am no fan of telemarketing either. I always explain politely to the nice people on the other end who are just trying to make a buck that I never buy anything from telephone solicitations and that they could send me literature if they cared to. But here’s what scares me—telemarketing and robocalls exist for one reason, and that one reason is enough—they are perceived to work. Until marketers are persuaded otherwise, the calls will continue. Apparently we Americans respond in sufficient numbers to keep the calls coming.

Perhaps you are wondering what this rant has to do with Christianity or the church. Why is this grim feature of American life worth the precious space on this blog? I’m not against every form of automated dialing. It’s nice to hear from my kid’s school if a day’s classes are going to be canceled because of snow. When Time of Grace has to change broadcast channels or broadcast times in one of our cities, automated dialing can alert viewers to the changes.

Sharing important information to people already part of a community is one thing. But the resentment that the robo-marketing calls arouse in my cold heart makes me want to do the opposite of what the “caller” wants. Your congregation, or your beloved parachurch ministry, may be tempted to use robocalls to ask for money. Here’s my plea: Don’t.

What’s your view?